Posts tagged ‘weight loss’
Yes, that happened. To ME. Just yesterday.
Listen folks, I’m gonna be totally transparent here. I’m no fool. I know my weight has crept up over the past year. I’m not going to make excuses (change in schedule, school, not working out as much, poor food choices under stress) because I was the one that put my health on the back burner.
But when a doctor tells me, a student of NUTRITION, for crying out loud, that I’ve gained too much weight and I need to lose 10 pounds, well…that kinda sucks. I ain’t gonna lie.
I’ll be honest: For a brief second, I felt like a failure, a phony. How could someone who is deemed “overweight” able to dish out health and wellness advice to the world?
That lasted for approximately 3 seconds.
What kicked in instead was a feeling of peace. Yes, peace! That I’m really OK with the fact that I’ve gained weight over the past year. And just as I made poor decisions one too many times, I can make the right ones just as easily. I’m even excited to lose a few pounds through small changes (and NO, I am NOT going on a “ohmygodIhavetolose10poundsin2weeks” diet)
But what’s even better is that I still LOVE my body. I love every inch of it. OK, maybe not every inch, but close to it. I’ve never felt better naked, and the last time I weighed this much was after my Freshman 15 in college. And I sure as hell ain’t going to let some guy (read: my MD) dictate how I should feel about myself.
So, my lovelies, repeat after me: I LOVE MY BODY, no matter WHAT the scale says.
Now say: I will NEVER let ANYONE tell me how I should feel about myself. This is MY body, MY life!
PS. Another reason why I wanted to be completely authentic with you is to show you that being healthy, even for someone who is immersed in the health/wellness world, takes work. If you don’t make your wellbeing a priority, all of a sudden you’ll be sitting in your doctor’s office with him telling you you’ve gained 11 pounds in 1 year. So, if it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.
So in the essence of full disclosure, I had a major pity party last night.
I was procrastinating studying for my final exam and I decided engage in a completely random activity–look through old pictures from my digital camera, as far back as Feb 2007. It was quite entertaining and Matt and I had a few good chuckles about how heavy he used to be (Seriously, it looks like he got attacked by a swarm of bees and puffed up).
But the pictures of me were a different story. Ignoring bad hair coloring, I was shocked to see how friggin’ THIN I was in those pictures (see above). Back then I had never been more obsessed with healthy eating, dieting, and more MISERABLE than I was at that time. But I regardless of that, I was thin. It certainly was a jolt to see myself in a way more slender body.
Which of course caused me to look down at my body now, which, don’t get me wrong, I revel in my voluptuousness…most of the time. But comparing my body now with my body of 3-4 years ago was very difficult.
And then the pity party started.
“Look at you, you can’t maintain your weight”
“You’re weak, you should have more discipline”
“You should eat less, exercise more, go on a diet. How could you let yourself get to this point?”
“You should be ashamed of yourself. You’re studying to be a dietitian, for crying out loud! Why will people want to listen to you if you can’t even keep your own weight down?”
And then, the victim voices:
“Well, you do gain weight as you age”
“My schedule has changed and I don’t have as much time to exercise and I’m stressed all the time.”
As you can imagine, I felt as though I was insane. It WAS insane.
So I made a compromise with myself: Go ahead and think these thoughts, feel badly about yourself, but you only have until the end of the night. Wake up tomorrow morning and it’s a new day. No more of this bullshit.
And you know what, it worked. I let myself be grumpy, angry, ashamed, sad, and spent sometime mourning my former self (which, according to my friends and loved ones, was too thin) and then went to bed. I woke up with a smile on my face, put on an outfit that made me feel fabulous, and sashayed out the door.
I’m just like you—I have the same negative thoughts about my body, and even with the massive amounts of work I’ve done on myself, sometimes they rear their ugly head when you least expect it (like 10pm on a Tuesday evening). By allowing myself to experience these negative feelings, I was able to move past them much more quickly.
So often women in particular are afraid of making waves in their life, and instead plaster on a smile and pretend like they’re OK. I used to be like that…it lead to a lot of issues, especially around food (aka binges). If you’re feeling crappy, seriously, give yourself some time to feel crappy, embrace the crappiness, and then say, “Thank you for sharing,” and move on. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, I Love you, body!
Have you ever experienced this? Do you feel like you’re allowed to throw yourself a pity party?
Yes, friends, that’s my weight, right there in BIG, BOLD letters.
A year ago, I would’ve been ashamed to tell you how much I weighed.
Now, I feel absolutely NO emotional connection to that number. As of today. I mean come on, it’s just a number, right? Right?
This morning I started Boot Camp again (Park Slopers, it’s awesome!) and after an hour of sweating my tush off, the trainer took measurements (to be done monthly). I haven’t looked at a scale in months, but I knew my weight was creeping up. These thoughts were confirmed when I looked down at the scale and saw the number 134.4 pounds SPEAK back to me (Yes, this scale not only displayed the number but SPOKE it…more like SHOUTED it!)
For the first time in my life, I looked down at that number and felt nothing. No disappointment. No, “Oh, I’m a bad, unmotivated person and I am worthless and should be ashamed of myself!” I’ve had years and years of that tape playing in my head, and truthfully it was getting really worn out.
Today I CELEBRATE my INDEPENDENCE from my weight. Would I like to lose a few pounds? Yes. But I’m motivated by getting into better shape and FEELING better about myself, and not living my life by the number on the scale. As someone who has been 145 pounds and also 118 pounds, been there, done that.
I can’t tell you how liberating I feel. To know that my self-worth, as a woman, a human being, has NOTHING to do with the way I look is friggin awesome. Sure, it took me many many many many many years and lots of hard work to get here, but baby, I’ve arrived!
Do you weigh yourself? What’s your relationship to the scale?
Here we are again. Another Friday…why is time passing WAYYYY too quickly?
To those celebrating Rosh Hashana, Happy New Year!
As you know, eating healthy isn’t always easy. To make it more confusing, some foods may SEEM healthy but in reality are trainwrecks for your waistline. Check out this list and see if you eat any of these “good for you” foods (which are just plain ol crap)
Continuing the trend, here are more seemingly healthy foods that really aren’t that healthy!
You know I love a good bacteria story since taking (and rocking!) my microbiology class this summer. Check out the latest findings on where bacteria are lurking! Oh, and on a side note: I learned yesterday that our body has approximately 100 trillion cells. And we have up to 4x as much BACTERIA in/on our body. Crazy!
Recent studies show that what you eat, and not necessarily your genetics, contribute more to obesity.
My favorite topic: sugar! More tips on how to cut it from your diet.
Have a great weekend!
Great news for all the yoginis out there! The Journal of the American Dietetic Association recently published a study which found that yoga is linked with more eating awareness, leading to less weight gain. Practicing yoga leads to healthier eating habits because mindfulness is such a major component of yoga.
The study collected data from people who practiced yoga more than one hour per week, people who walked for at least 90 minutes per week, and people who got more than 90 minutes of moderate to strenuous activity per week.
The findings: People who ate mindfully (meaning, those who were conscious of their reasons for eating and who stopped eating when full) had a lower body mass than people who ate mindlessly in response to sadness, stress, or when they were not hungry.
The yoga practitioners scored highest on a Mindful Eating Questionnaire. Engaging in the other activities (walking, strenuous activity) was not associated with mindful eating. Som in sum, yoga can = mindful eating = weight loss!
This is definitely motivation to pick up my yoga practice again! I used to go 3-4x/week and now I’m lucky if I make it to one class. The focus on the breath and mindfulness that is associated with yoga is my favorite part and it carries over into the rest of my day. If you spend your time in the gym on the treadmill or cardio classes, try a yoga class. It’s a wonderful complement to your existing routine (runners swear by it for their tight leg muscles)
But remember, while yoga is wonderful for your body, mind, and spirit, don’t neglect other forms of exercise, such as cardio and strength training. A combination of all 3 is ideal!