Posts tagged ‘self-esteem’

Does this make my butt look big?

Me and my girls at my wedding June, 2007

This is a very, very special week.

No, sorry to disappoint,  it’s not Appreciate Your Secretary Week.

This week kicks off Fat Talk Free Week, a body image campaign aimed at college students to ban language that is harmful to their self esteem. And since we’re all kids at heart, I’ve decided that we should all take part in this campaign, too.

Let’s follow their motto: “Friends don’t let friends fat talk.”

Think about how you relate to your friends. Especially in college, girl-talk revolves around boys, clothes, and body dissatisfaction. Certainly comparing body parts, complaining that x is too big or y is too fat weasels its way into conversation. I’ve gone shopping with friends countless times and each time I’ve tried on a pair of jeans I swear the first words out of my mouth are “My butt looks huge!”

But imagine a world where girlfriends were nothing but supportive of each other. When Jane says to Megan, “I’m so fat, I need to lose weight,” Megan will smile, take Jane’s hand, and say, “You look beautiful just as you are.”

A girl can dream, can’t she?

So, take the Fat Talk Free Week challenge with me. Only words of self-love and respect when speaking about yourself to others. Take it one step further and re-record that tape that plays over and over in your head. You know the voice that’s usually telling you “You’re not good enough,” “You’re not worthy,” and “You look fat.”  Go ahead and thank your inner critic for sharing her $.02, and then tell yourself something nice, like “You kicked ass in spin class today.”

You can also play the Thank You game. Here are the rules: When someone gives you a compliment (ie. Those pants look good on you, I love your outfit) you smile and say “Thank You.” You do NOT say, “Oh, I think these pants make my thighs look  big” or “This ratty sweatshirt is so old.” NO! You smile, say thank you, and accept the gift you are receiving. It may feel uncomfortable at first but I promise with a little practice, it get’s easier.

Let’s start now: You look Beautiful today!  (Your reply: Thank you, Amanda!)

**Celebrate the end of Fat Talk Free Week with me! Have you signed up for the FREE virtual Love Your Body Day Telesummit? No? Sign up here and get my free report, “10 Ways We Love Our Body Best.” By signing up you’ll get access to over 19 experts in the health and wellness fields, helping you to live your best, juiciest life possible. Can’t attend? No problem! Sign up anyway and you’ll get recordings of all the calls so you can listen on your own time.



October 18, 2010 at 1:19 pm 3 comments

When you want it bad…

That's me!

I was having a conversation with my mother last weekend and I was talking to her about my weight. If you recall, I wrote a post on weighing 134 pounds, a higher weight for me, yet not having any emotional attachment to it (which is HUMONGO in my world).

She asked me how did I do it? How did I break through all the negative, self-depricating voices, the sabatoging binges, the victim-mentality to arrive to where I am today: Positively happy and glowing in a slightly bigger body.

Cheryl Richardson, in her newsletter this week, summed it up perfectly:

You have to want a deeper, more conscious relationship with yourself more than you want to be comfortable or thin.

Ok people, this is so important that I’m going to say it again:

You have to want a deeper, more conscious relationship with yourself more than you want to be comfortable or thin.

It took me many, many, many years of being so nasty to myself bring me to where I am today. But there came a point when I said, Stop the Insanity! The negative self-talk tapes began to wear thin (no pun intended) on me, and it was a struggle to keep up a lower weight that wasn’t meant for me during this time in my life. Through the help of workshops, therapists, dietitians, friends, family, and LOTS, and I mean, LOTS, of self exploration, I realized that my relationship with myself and my body was more important than being thin.

I know this sounds cliche, but I still can’t believe I can utter the above sentence. I’m not going to lie–accepting yourself (and not even LOVING yourself, but just merely being OK with where you are now) can be an uncomfortable, tough place to be. When the rest of the world and your friends are dieting away, and you’re just trying to figure out if your body wants ice cream or just tired, it’s uncomfortable. And when the scale creeps up instead of down, and your skinny jeans no longer fit, it’s uncomfortable.

But that moment when you decide, You know what? I don’t give a fuck, is worth it. Believe me, it’s so worth it.

I just took some headshots this weekend and when I looked at the photos, the first thought was: Damn, I look good! Not: my thighs look big, and oh-my-god, do I have a tricep-waddle? Ok, maybe that creeped in a bit, I am only human, after all. But it feels so good to celebrate myself and my beauty.

If you’re not ready to give up on your attachment to being “thin,” whatever that means to you, that’s OK. But I promise that one day you’ll want to change that tape in your head. And when you’re ready, come talk to me, and we’ll start you on the right path.

July 27, 2010 at 1:12 pm 5 comments

Drop down and give me 134.4 pounds!

I'm sorry, but this is the most RIDICULOUS photo I've ever seen. This picture makes women go on diets.

Yes, friends, that’s my weight, right there in BIG, BOLD letters.

A year ago, I would’ve been ashamed to tell you how much I weighed.

Now, I feel absolutely NO emotional connection to that number. As of today. I mean come on, it’s just a number, right? Right?

This morning I started Boot Camp again (Park Slopers, it’s awesome!) and after an hour of sweating my tush off, the trainer took measurements (to be done monthly). I haven’t looked at a scale in months, but I knew my weight was creeping up. These thoughts were confirmed when I looked down at the scale and saw the number 134.4 pounds SPEAK back to me (Yes, this scale not only displayed the number but SPOKE it…more like SHOUTED it!)

For the first time in my life, I looked down at that number and felt nothing. No disappointment. No, “Oh, I’m a bad, unmotivated person and I am worthless and should be ashamed of myself!” I’ve had years and years of that tape playing in my head, and truthfully it was getting really worn out.

Today I CELEBRATE my INDEPENDENCE from my weight. Would I like to lose a few pounds? Yes. But I’m motivated by getting into better shape and FEELING better about myself, and not living my life by the number on the scale. As someone who has been 145 pounds and also 118 pounds, been there, done that.

I can’t tell you how liberating I feel. To know that my self-worth, as a woman, a human being, has NOTHING to do with the way I look is friggin awesome. Sure, it took me many many many many many years and lots of hard work to get here, but baby, I’ve arrived!

Do you weigh yourself? What’s your relationship to the scale?

July 9, 2010 at 4:28 pm 6 comments

Go Green with your Exercise

Just in time for summer!

This month’s Weill Cornell Medical College Food & Fitness Advisor reports findings from a UK study that found that just   5 minutes of “green” exercise each day lifted study participants’ moods and boosted their self esteem. The study was published online on March 25th in the journal Environmental Science & Technology.

And what is “green” exercise, you ask? The term refers to an activity in the presence of nature, such as walking, boating, gardening, cycling, fishing, horseback riding, and my favorite, hiking.

The most significant improvements in mood and self-esteem occurred when the participants were in the presence of water. Interesting!

So, next time at the beach, put the drink down, get out of your lounge chair, and take a little walk.  Not only is it good for the body, but good for the soul.  Me…I’ll be hiking in the Berkshires!

June 18, 2010 at 7:17 pm Leave a comment

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