When You Can’t Eat Your Emotions
What happens when a recovering emotional/binge eater no longer turns to food for solace?
Well, life pretty much sucks. For right now, at least.
The past few weeks have been a bit rough for me with my emotions rolling up and down. Suffice to say, I’ve been in a funk. We’re all human, this certainly happens, especially to a “glass is overflowing” type of gal like myself (which is why it particularly sucks)
But this time it’s different. My moodiness has a new edge to it. I’ve been racking my brain for the past few days wondering why I’ve just felt so, well, meh. More so than usual.
And then BAM, last night it hits me:
I no longer eat my emotions.
What does that mean? Well, in the past, when anything in life got tough, scary, or too much for me to handle, I’d turn to food. Sound like you? A piece of chocolate does not talk back to you, but it does make you feel better…if only for a little while. It’s way more fun to raid your pantry than focus on life’s issues. Although, the problems and issues were still there after you through out the candy bar wrappers. Except now you had issues AND you felt guilty and fat.
But I don’t do that anymore. Somewhere along the way with all my personal growth work, I’ve stopped (mostly) using food to comfort me. Which means I am actually experiencing my emotions to their fullest. Now I understand why emotional eating is so alluring. Feeling your feelings sucks.
Now that I’m not using cookies as a crutch, I’m left vulnerable, raw, naked (figuratively, people!). I feel wounded in a way, left with a whole mess of emotions, thoughts, and feelings for me to untangle. And this is hard work. This is what I’ve been avoiding for all those years when I was stuffing my face.
As I always say, The only way out is through. For any growth to occur, there has to be some uncomfortableness, some vulnerability. And that’s where I am now…feeling like I’m on the precipice of something BIG, although I’m not quite sure I know what that something BIG is. We’ll just have to wait and find out.
Do you turn to food when life gets tough? What does turning to food do for you? What are you avoiding?