Day 1 of Joulebody Kickstart Cleanse
Today I woke up to 2 things:
2. an email from Yvette from Joulebody introducing me to the cleanse.Which then brought about an “Oh crap, am I really going to do this?!” reaction.
The Kickstart email contained my menu of the day, complete with ingredients and nutritional breakdown (more on that later) and instructions on how to make my most of the cleanse. For example, tongue brushing/scraping is recommended (which I love and already do!), in addition exfoliating showers, drinking herbal tea, exercising, and….duh duh duh…a colonic, enema, or Epsom salt and water in order to clean the bowels (While I’ve done colonics multiple times, there is no way I’m stepping near an enema, so…we’ll see what happens)
The menu described what exactly I’m eating/drinking and what time I should eat it. Also, each bottle is labeled accordingly so there is no doubt as to what I should eat.
While I am glad that I have these documents to help me along, I wish I would’ve gotten them earlier in the week instead of today. That way I could have prepared better, acquired the supplemental ingredients, and felt more prepared mentally.
But here we go!
9am: Raw Chia Berry Smoothie: Ayurvedic tea, aloe, seeds, berries, chia, hemp, flax. I was STARVING by the time I drank my very first smoothie, and what I really wanted was a big bowl of oatmeal instead. But this was a thickened drink (from the chia and flax, I’m guessing) that was quite delicious and refreshing. I slowly sipped the drink, as suggested, and was surprisingly pleased that when I finished, I felt satisfied. I made sure to drank a lot of water, too. You know, this might be very doable after all!
12:00pm: Replenish Creamless Cleanse: greens, seaweed, carrots, celery, potassium broth, salt, pepper, onion, garlic, herbs, chickpea. Watch my first reaction (Pardon the light in the background, I recorded this at the office):
Ok, so I loved that the soup was warm. Heck, I just loved that I was EATING food. But there was an overpowering taste like fennel that for me, a non-fennel lover, was a bit overpowering. I won’t lie and say I’m not missing my lunch of brown rice and veggies. Immediately after finishing, I just want to keep eating. Fifteen minutes later, however, I’m oddly satisfied.
2pm Update: No food, just feeling…vapid. Unable to concentrate. I feel like an air-head, basically. I’m tired. I also just got an email from Joulebody saying that I CAN eat some brown rice, certain veggies, avocado. I really, really, really wished I had gotten this email NOT today so I could’ve brought that to eat, too. I think a little serving of brown rice would’ve done me a lot of good!
3pm: Green Joule juice: collard, apple, aloe, flax, cucumber, dandelion, chlorophyll This drink couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m tired and dragging, and I just want to go home. I had lofty ideas of going to the gym but instead I’m going to take a nice leisurely walk with my dog. The thought of even getting out of my clothes right now seems exhausting. Enter the Green Joule. Hot damn, this tastes good! A perfect amount of sweetness from the apple, and the deep green color from the chlorophyll makes me feel healthy just looking at it! One issue: jar was too difficult to open on my own (and I certainly ain’t feeling strong right now) Luckily I have a strong coworker who opened for me. The best part is that I have another drink in 2 hours! I can do 2 hours.
4:45pm Update: Ugh, I am really, really dragging now. I’ve hardly had anything to eat and I’m at work. The most I could muster was stapling some papers together and trolling through Perez Hilton. I have 15 minutes until my Citrus Cleanse but I really just want to be teleported to my bed. With ice cream. I know some people have some spiritual rebirths during fasting, but I am definitely not there yet. It’s not a tummy rumbling kinda hungry. I just feel…empty.
5pm Citrus Cleanse: Lemon, water, maple syrup, cayenne Ahh, so THIS is what it’s like to do the Master Cleanse. The drink is super refreshing, lightly sweetened with a kick of cayenne as an aftertaste. In a weird way reminds me of the “bug juice” I drank at sleep away camp. The label says: “A pure citrus drink to lessen sugar cravings and clean tastebuds.” Hmmm. Well, actually, yes, my tastebuds feel clean. It’s a palate cleanser–how fancy! After this, I’m heading home on the subway back to Brooklyn (wish me luck on that) where I will bide my time until I can eat dinner at 7pm. You best believe I’m heading to the supermarket first to pick up brown rice, carrot, and celery sticks!
7pm: Protein Cleanse Wrap: Chick pea, edamame, parsley, garlic, hemp, potassium broth, cayenne, collard, seaweed, tumeric, cider vinegar This is what I’ve been waiting for ALL day. REAL food! And this food is GOOD! Like, really good. Portion is super small. That’s an appetizer plate, FYI .I seriously could’ve eaten 40 of those babies. Check out pic and video:
After dinner I went on a 45 minute walk with my dog. I can’t believe I had visions of doing anything more than a long walk for exercise. I definitely had enough energy for the walk, and it felt good to get my blood pumping a bit, but I came home and was exhausted. On a positive note, I noticed that my stomach has NO BLOATING at all–it’s totally flat, which is quite wonderful. And none of the meals created any gas, either.
8pm: Flavor & Fiber Cookies These 2 small cookies came wrapped in foil, and I had visions of chocolate dancing in my head. Silly me, of course. These were 2 small granola/oat like cookies with dried fruit for flavor. I love that there was dessert more than I liked the dessert itself, but it did the trick.
So, that’s all for the food, folks! I am done with Day #1!!
I’m not gonna pretend and say it was a cinch. Truthfully, there were points in the day where I was very unhappy and felt as though my head was going to detach from my body (that air-headed feeling). But those sensations came and went, and I was able to function throughout the day. And come to think of it, I only had real hunger pains once today, right before lunch. Otherwise, it was a feeling of emptiness and weariness. Oh yeah, and crankiness. Definitely crankiness. Luckily Matt is away this weekend!
I’ll be ending the evening with a hot Epsom Salt bath and a cup of Smooth Move tea to get everything, well, moving.
Day 1 Recap:
What I Loved: The 9am morning smoothie, the green drink, and the cleanse wrap. Those were my favorites. I adore the labels on each of the jars…so cute! I also love that I made it through day 1.
What I would improve: I wish I received the documents about the cleanse BEFORE I started. It would have made the transition MUCH easier. I was bummed that I didn’t know about the rice and carrot/celery sticks until today as I would have brought those snacks with me today.
Feelings/Sensation: One bout of hunger pains. The rest of the day a bit cranky, weak, and definitely weary. Tired. Unable to focus much. BUT–able to function throughout the day.