I’m 140 pounds and in LOVE with myself!

October 12, 2010 at 1:32 pm 8 comments

I heart my thunder thighs

Lately I’ve been tickled pink with my mental state around my body.

A quick rundown of the facts: I’ve gained 11 pounds in the past year. I’m heavier than I’ve been in 9 years. And while I recognize I certainly need to amend certain eating and dietary habits, I am not unhappy with myself.

Quite the contrary. I’m actually quite PLEASED.

But how,” people question me. “How is it possible for you to carry this extra weight but still be OK with it.”

So glad you asked!

Over the past year, I’ve allowed myself to eat the foods that for YEARS I wouldn’t dream of eating. And yes, I’ve eaten more than my calorie allotment of chocolate cake. Actually, I think I’ve eaten enough dessert to last me 2 years.

But what have I gained (besides the 11 pounds?) I’ve gained understanding and appreciation and even LOVE for a body at a weight I never thought I could live with. I can honestly say that I love my bigger body.  And only now, with this self love, can I begin to truly lose the weight for good.

(Oh, and by the way, if I can feel this way, you certainly can, too.)

I’ve been thinking about how when I was aged 21-28, let’s say, when I was much thinner than I am now, I was miserable. At 118 pounds I thought my thighs were fat.  At 120 pounds, same thing. At 122-124 pounds, right again. I didn’t see the body that everyone called “thin,” but rather my thunder thighs.

And I think back to that former body and I’m just sad. I never enjoyed it. I never thought to myself, “Wow, I have this amazing body that I’m eating right and exercising and I’m in top shape, and I just love it!”  Nope. I just doused myself with a heap of red-hot hate. Again and again. I think about what my lack of self confidence kept me from doing in life, and the situations I allowed to continue (ie. mentally abusive relationships) because I didn’t feel worthy.  It’s amazing how cells of fat can control your life.

I guess what I’m trying to point out is that at 118 pounds I wasn’t happy. Being thin isn’t the answer to my problems. Being thin won’t make me happy.

Being older and wiser, I understand that losing weight isn’t the answer to my happiness. There will ALWAYS be something. There might ALWAYS be more weight to lose. That is why I have made an enormous effort to find ways to love myself as I am right now…even if it’s at a weight that’s higher than I’d like.

So try, just try for me, please…to think about this body your inhabiting right now. If you hate your thighs, most likely you’ve always hated your thighs and probably always will. But it doesn’t mean you can’t love what you’ve got right now!

**Have you signed up for the FREE virtual Love Your Body Day Telesummit? No? Sign up here and get my free report, “10 Ways We Love Our Body Best.” By signing up you’ll get access to over 19 experts in the health and wellness fields, helping you to live your best, juiciest life possible. Can’t attend? No problem! Sign up anyway and you’ll get recordings of all the calls so you can listen on your own time.

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Entry filed under: nutrition. Tags: , , , , .

We teach everyone how to treat us I’m grateful for my BODY

8 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Ben  |  October 12, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    As someone who’s known you for much longer than those 9 years, I can say I think you look better than ever, and I’m so proud of you. :)

    Reply
    • 2. Amanda  |  October 12, 2010 at 2:14 pm

      You are the sun in my sky!

      Reply
  • 3. Val  |  October 12, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    YEAH!

    I’m totally with you girl! Being thin does NOT make you happy. We need to work on our minds and not our bodies. This post made me happy :)

    Reply
    • 4. Amanda  |  October 12, 2010 at 2:15 pm

      Yay Val, glad it made you happy! Time to start realizing that fat cells are not the answer to life.

      Reply
  • 5. Melinda  |  October 12, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    I have to say for me…it took getting pregnant. I could no longer just worry about me – I need to do what was best for the little bring inside of me. I finally started listening to my body and not just following what I thought I should do. It makes a world of difference. Being at peace with your body and loving yourself is so important! xoxo

    Reply
  • 6. Patti  |  October 12, 2010 at 5:29 pm

    Loved this, and at my age ( 60 next, ;~) ) you just remember your ups & downs of your life, & not necessarily on the scale! I would imagine that being stressed out about your weight just makes you comfort yourself with more goodies, yes?
    BTW, am I going to see that beautiful body and smile this weekend in NYC? Hope so. xxoo

    Reply
  • 7. Matthew Goldfarb  |  October 12, 2010 at 6:43 pm

    I must say how proud i am to read this post. That’s a common theme for so many people…that we don’t realize how amazing we look or are until time has past us by. We get so caught up on what’s missing instead of loving what we’ve got right there in the moment.

    As Mr. Cake and Carrots, I think you look sexy as ever.

    Reply
  • 8. Kate D  |  October 13, 2010 at 5:13 am

    This was an awesome post. I’m going to bookmark it and re-read it on days I’m feeling low.

    Reply

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