We teach everyone how to treat us
I just got back from an incredible 3 days in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina with Matt and my mother for a business Mastermind with their coach, Suzanne Evans. To say that our trip was life changing and transformational is an understatement. The power of this Mastermind community and their brilliance as human beings and entrepreneurs is just down right astounding. I am truly grateful I was able to be part of that group if only for a few days.
On the very first day of the Mastermind, Suzanne said something profound that really rang true for me: We teach everybody how to treat us. So how are you teaching people to be with you?
Hmmm. That’s a good question. Suzanne was using this in the context of, “How do you teach your clients to treat you.” Of course that applies, but I also took it as, “How do you allow your friends, family, spouse, coworkers–event pet, treat you?”
Ask yourself these questions:
*Do you feel like you’re always giving, giving, giving
*Do you respond to people’s calls/texts/emails even if it’s not a good time for you?
*Do you feel taken advantage of?
*Do you feel that certain relationships are not a 50/50 split, and more like 60/40, 70/30 tipped to your side?
*Do you feel unsupported by certain relationships?
*Do you feel resentful for certain relationships, and feel like you HAVE to maintain them?
*Do you always feel like you need to set up some boundaries but just don’t know how?
If any of these questions sound familiar to you, perhaps its time to take a look at how you’re letting people treat you.
For example, I have a long-time friend who was always needing something from me (usually advice, which she never took). I would give and give and give, and I never felt like I could ask something of her in return. The relationship drained me. And it was only until I recognized that this is how she was as a friend that I realized that I needed to make a decision: make the friendship work for me or let it go. So I began to set up some boundaries, stopped answering all of her phone calls, not making myself as available and asking HER for help. And whaddya know? Slowly but surely our friendship began to change, and it’s much more balanced now.
If we indeed teach others how to treat us, that means YOU have the power to make that happen. YOU have the ability to set yourself up for success with your relationships. And the good news is it’s never too late to do this!
Think about a relationship you have that isn’t working for you at the moment: a client, friend, parent, coworkers, etc. How is it not working for you? How does he/she make you feel? Think of ONE “boundary” you can set up to make yourself happier. (ie. You tell your client you cannot answer her calls in the evening, you tell a friend that YOU need help from her, etc). How can you teach them to treat you?
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